Who I Haven't Seen in a While: your kid's gotten so big! what is he, four?

Me: i have no idea what he's for

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

When you say you don't feel good "Are you pregnant?

People without kids "Do you have to poop " -people with kids

What do you call a kid with no legs, no arms and an eyepatch?

Names.

Idea Jokes More Idea Jokes

What animal do I respect most?

The octopus. I have no idea what to do with my hands most of the time, and I only have two of them.

Whats the difference between a woman president and pizza?

Most people like the idea of pizza better.