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What's the appropriate age to take the electric shock collar off your kid?

My son's 10 years... hold on... OFF THE COUCH! brb... convulsing.

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How many heroin addicts does it take to change a lightbulb?

Four. One to hold the lightbulb and three to smoke until the room starts spinning!

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Why did the kid only water half the lawn?

Because there was a 50% chance of rain

Why did the kid with muscular dystrophy want to be an astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer, and a NASCAR driver when he grew up?

He had a lot of aspirations.

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

What did the hippy say when I told him to get off my couch?

Namaste

Why didn't the Buddhist monk vacuum under his couch?

He had no attachments.

10 Year Jokes More 10 Year Jokes

How much time do I have left, doctor?

Doctor: 10 Guy: 10 what! 10 days, 10 months, 10 years Doctor: 9...8...7...6...5...

What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow?

You stop milking a cow after 10 years.