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What did the cow say to the paintbrush?

Moo. As told by my kid this morning.

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Where did you buy all that junk?

Kid: At the Joke shop.

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch?

Names.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did the hippy say when he was told to get off the couch and get a job?

Namaste (pronounced:nah I'ma stay)

What is the difference between a English actuary and a Sicilian actuary?

An English actuary can tell you how many people are going to die next year. A Sicilian actuary can give you their names...

Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

What's beef jerky?

Dried parts of a cow that had Parkinson's.

Why do cows need four legs to walk?

Because they lactose. Moo

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

How does a blond like her eggs in the morning?

Fertilized

Who's there! Ben! Ben who?

Ben knocking on this door all morning!

Moo Jokes More Moo Jokes

What did the cow say to the masked robber?

Moo.

How do you make cultured milk?

You take it to the Moo-seum. I know this joke is terrible, but I totally came up with it on my own, but I'm sure it exists already.