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What if she drinks too much, or gets high?

Me: You really aren't my kid are you

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What do Mexicans drink in the morning?

Dos Eggys

What did the Alligator say to the turtle?

Can I bayou a drink?

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What is the worst kind of wood to have in your home around your kids?

Naughty pine

Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie?

It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.