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What if she drinks too much, or gets high?

Me: You really aren't my kid are you

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What kind of wine do bears drink?

Maulbec

What happens when you don't serve drinks at a party?

There's no punch line.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Why do people keep a picture of their wife and kids in their wallet?

To remind them why there's no money in it

What has 5 legs and a big grin?

Pit-bull in kids sandpit