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What do you give a kid with no hands for Christmas?

Doesnt matter, he'll never unwrap the gift

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Who's Gotye?

While their kids were like, "What's a record

What does R. Kelly say to his kids when they do something bad?

Urine trouble

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Why did Jill fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms. Why did she not get back up? Because she had no legs. What did Jill get for Christmas? A bicycle.

What types of trees never get Christmas presents?

Knotty Pines.

Gift Jokes More Gift Jokes

Whats the point of calling it "secret Santa"?

Everyone knows that the person who gave you the gift is Santa.

Why doesn't Santa give gifts to naughty kids?

Because it'd Krampus style.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why can't the T-rex clap its hands?

Because it's dead.

What do you do if a girl sits on your hand?

Try to get her off!

Matter Jokes More Matter Jokes

How many WoW devs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Doesn't matter. They'll just nerf darkness next patch instead.

How many cynics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Doesn't matter. Lightbulb is going to die anyway.

Unwrap Jokes More Unwrap Jokes

Why did Burger King decide to partner with Dairy Queen instead of McDonalds?

Because she unwrapped his Whopper. I'm so sorry!!!

Why do Mexicans make burritos?

So they can unwrap something for Christmas!