Why do kids hate Steven Hawking?

They don't like their vegetables.

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What do you throw a drowning Mexican?

His wife and kids.

What happens when you take acid with a birth control pill?

A trip without the kids

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Whenever I get to a restaurant and they say there is a wait I say "do you know who I am?

Because while I wait I like to be introspective

Who in the organisation likes cats the most?

The purchaser.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why do Europeans hate American food?

Europeans don't want to die yet. Unlike Americans who don't wanna diet.

Why do jihadists drink instant coffee?

Because they hate the french press...

Vegetable Jokes More Vegetable Jokes

What do you call it when a vegetable suffers heart failure?

A hearti*choke*....

What is the best kind of vegetable?

The one in the wheelchair.

Steven Hawking Jokes More Steven Hawking Jokes

Why does Steven Hawking hate the band Muse?

Because he can't stand their song Uprising, it wants him to rise up and take the power back.

How does Steven Hawking refresh after a long work day?

F5 (sorry Imgoingtohellforthis)