Steven Hawking Jokes

Who has the fastest brain in the world?

Steven Hawking with a brake failure!

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How does Steven Hawking refresh after a long work day?

F5 (sorry Imgoingtohellforthis)

What has a tongue, cannot walk, but gets around a lot?

Steven Hawking

Why does Steven Hawking hate the band Muse?

Because he can't stand their song Uprising, it wants him to rise up and take the power back.

Why do kids hate Steven Hawking?

They don't like their vegetables.

What's black and sits at the top of a staircase?

Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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Song Jokes More Song Jokes

What does a rapper use to write their songs?

Word,yo.

What is everyone writing songs about?

John: revolution Paul: forgiveness George: true love Ringo: hmm, a submarine or maybe an octopus

Tongue Jokes More Tongue Jokes

When my wife got her tongue pierced I asked her why?

She said To enhanthe the thektual thimulation.

Whats another term for acid?

Its on the tip of my tongue...

Hawk Jokes More Hawk Jokes

What vegetable is a bug most afraid of?

Stephen Hawking

What do scientists and vegetables have in common?

Stephen Hawking

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

What do you call a grammatical rendezvous?

Accommadate I hate me for this..

Why do feminists hate church music?

Because of all the Hymns.

Staircase Jokes More Staircase Jokes

Why did the detective go to the apartment complex?

So he could solve the staircase.

What's black and sits on top of a staircase?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney Movies?

Disney Movies still touch kids

Why do Women get So Big when they're Pregnant?

To give their kids a wide birth.

Wheelchair Jokes More Wheelchair Jokes

What is the only inedible part of a vegetable?

The wheelchair

What do you get when you cross the world's most famous skater with the world's best physicist?

A video game so realistic, when you screw up you have to play in a wheelchair.

Power Jokes More Power Jokes

Why should you never drink German beer with Chinese food?

An hour later you're hungry for power.

When The NSA is Monitoring Your Computer?

The power is on and you're connected to the internet.