Steven Hawking Jokes

Who has the fastest brain in the world?

Steven Hawking with a brake failure!

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How does Steven Hawking refresh after a long work day?

F5 (sorry Imgoingtohellforthis)

What has a tongue, cannot walk, but gets around a lot?

Steven Hawking

Why does Steven Hawking hate the band Muse?

Because he can't stand their song Uprising, it wants him to rise up and take the power back.

Why do kids hate Steven Hawking?

They don't like their vegetables.

What's black and sits at the top of a staircase?

Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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Rise Jokes More Rise Jokes

Why is the demand for potato chips rising in China?

They need clean air.

What saying is discouraged in both the USA and North Korea?

The South Will Rise Again

World Jokes More World Jokes

Who is the most successful liar in the world?

Mary. Lied about her extramarital affair, still believed by billions.

What's the shortest book in the world?

Deutscher Humor!

Wheelchair Jokes More Wheelchair Jokes

Why do they allow people in wheelchairs to bring carry-ons onto a plane?

Aren't they themselves a carry-on?

Why are you always pushing me around and talking behind my back?

I said, "well, you are in a wheelchair".

Staircase Jokes More Staircase Jokes

What's black and sits at the top of a staircase?

Steven Hawking after a house fire.

Why did the detective go to the apartment complex?

So he could solve the staircase.

Hawk Jokes More Hawk Jokes

What's the best vegetable to bring to a party?

Stephen Hawking

What will ESPN talk about if both the Hawks and Rockets make it to the NBA final?

The NHL playoffs

Power Jokes More Power Jokes

What are swearing outdoor grills powered with?

Profane tanks.

How much power does it take to move a tank?

A horse

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did you do before you were married sir?

*with teary eyes* whatever the hell i wanted to do...

Why did your sister cut a hole in her new umbrella?

Because she wanted to be able to tell when it stopped raining.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

What do The Walking Dead and the state of Wisconsin have in common?

They both have a hated governor.

Why did Steve hate being the youngest clone?

Because all his genes were hand me downs.