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Hawk Jokes

Who has the fastest brain in the world?

Steven Hawking with a brake failure!

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Why is Stephen Hawking successful?

He can't run away from his responsibilities.

What's black and sits on top of a staircase?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire.

What vegetable is a bug most afraid of?

Stephen Hawking

Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stpehen hawking after a house fire.

What do scientists and vegetables have in common?

Stephen Hawking

What will ESPN talk about if both the Hawks and Rockets make it to the NBA final?

The NHL playoffs

What's the best vegetable to bring to a party?

Stephen Hawking

Why is Stephen Hawking so controversial?

He never changes his position.

What has a tongue, cannot walk, but gets around a lot?

Steven Hawking

Where are you?

I said to watch him like a hawk! ME: soaring 20m above w/ a beakful of mice I AM

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What if Stephen Hawking was the real slim shady?

But we would never know because he couldn't stand up

What's black and found at the top of a stair case?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

What's burnt to a crisp and at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

What did the Australian say to the hawk?

Good eye!

What has hands but can't clap?

Stephen Hawking

What's black and is on top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a housefire.

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Long Day Jokes More Long Day Jokes

Where did the meteorologist stop for a drink on the way home from a long day in the studio?

The nearest ISOBAR!!

What drink does a cannibal have after a long day?

A handshake!

Bug Jokes More Bug Jokes

What language do bugs in the Middle East speak?

Scarabic

Which web developer enjoys finding bugs?

A spider!

Repair Jokes More Repair Jokes

How does the Ultimate Warrior repair his car?

With parts unknown.

What do you call a crow who repairs time pieces?

A bird watcher.

World Jokes More World Jokes

How many lead guitarists does it take to change lightbulb?

One. He just stands there with the lightbulb and the whole world revolves around him.

How many egoists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. They simply hold the bulb and wait for the world to revolve around them.

Room Jokes More Room Jokes

What did Santa say when he saw your mom, sister, and girlfriend all together in the same room?

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Why couldn't the astronaut book a room on the moon?

Because it was full.

Good Place Jokes More Good Place Jokes

Where's the best place for a horse to grow up?

In a stable environment. Sorry I'm high and it just came to me.

Where's the best place to hide an elephant?

Dad: Where is the best place to hide an elephant? Me: I don't know, behind a big rock? Dad: In a tree silly. Me: In a tree? Dad: When's the last time you saw an elephant in a tree?

Mineral Jokes More Mineral Jokes

Why did Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson have to change his diet?

Because his nutritionist said he had too many minerals in his system!

How many rocks did Hank Schrader have in his collection by the end of Breaking Bad?

None, they were all minerals.

Dwayne Johnson Jokes More Dwayne Johnson Jokes

What do you get when you have Tiger Woods, Stephen Hawking, and Dwayne Johnson in the same room?

An Animal, a Vegetable, and a Mineral.

Why doesn't Dwayne Johnson's downstairs neighbor understand references to current events?

He's been living under The Rock.