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Why is Stephen Hawking successful?

He can't run away from his responsibilities.

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What's the quietest album in the world?

Stephen Hawking - unplugged

Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners?

Cause he can't do stand-up.

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What did the dog take when he was run down?

The license number of the car that hit him.

What are ants called when they run away very fast to get married?

Ant-elopers.

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What's black and is on top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a housefire.

What did the Australian say to the hawk?

Good eye!