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What has hands but can't clap?

Stephen Hawking

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why does Jesus hate M&Ms?

They keep falling through his hands.

When I was kid, and we'd go sledding on a cold snowy day, Ya know how often I had to rub my hands together to stay warm?

Intermittenly.

Stephen Hawk Jokes More Stephen Hawk Jokes

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite snack?

His left shoulder

What's burnt to a crisp and at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

Hawk Jokes More Hawk Jokes

Where are you?

I said to watch him like a hawk! ME: soaring 20m above w/ a beakful of mice I AM

What's black and found at the top of a stair case?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

Clap Jokes More Clap Jokes

Why can't T-Rexs clap their hands?

Because they're all dead

Why can't the T-rex clap its hands?

Because it's dead.