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Clap Jokes

Why can't the T-rex clap its hands?

Because it's dead.

Birthday State of Mind

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Birthday State of Mind

What do you call a group of sorority girls/fraternity guys standing in a circle?

A round of applause...because they all have the clap.

Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands?

Because they're dead.

Why can't dinosaurs clap?

Because they're dead.

What disease is most easily contracted by touching your hands together?

The clap.

What has hands but can't clap?

Stephen Hawking

Why can't T-Rexs clap their hands?

Because they're all dead

What do you call a man who claps at Christmas?

Santapplause!

How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, and ten people to stand around clapping and saying "Aww, how brave."

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People Jokes More People Jokes

What is wrong with people?

Have they never had pizza

Why do people get divorced in the holiday season?

Because they Marry Christmas!

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

When people say "May I ask who's calling?

I like to say "Sure, go ahead."

Why do hipsters only use the microwave?

Because they don't like conventional ovens.

Skip Jokes More Skip Jokes

How are women like rocks?

You skip the flat ones.

Why did Microsoft go straight to Windows 10 and skip 9?

Because Windows 8 9.

Tyrannosaurus Rex Jokes More Tyrannosaurus Rex Jokes

What do you get when you cross a tyrannosaurus rex with fireworks?

DINO-MITE!

Why doesn't Tyrannosaurus Rex fly?

They're all dead!

Disease Jokes More Disease Jokes

What disease do police give black people?

Glock coma

What's the only disease a potato can get?

Tuber-culosis

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

Why was my boss surprised to see me screwing with the IT guy?

They said IT couldn't be done

What do you call a guy stuck in the same job for 30 years?

A four term US senator.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

Where do you guys stand on the cheese debate?

I'm staunchly pro-volone.

Why are farmers the best at what they do?

They are out standing in their field.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why didn't the panda use a glove when playing baseball?

Because he caught everything bear handed!

Why can't you play peek-a-boo with Jesus?

Because he has holes in his hands