Clap Jokes

Why can't the T-rex clap its hands?

Because it's dead.

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How do you make an orphans hands bleed?

Tell them to clap until daddy gets home

What do you call a group of sorority girls/fraternity guys standing in a circle?

A round of applause...because they all have the clap.

How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, and ten people to stand around clapping and saying "Aww, how brave."

Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands?

Because they're dead.

Why can't dinosaurs clap?

Because they're dead.

What disease is most easily contracted by touching your hands together?

The clap.

What has hands but can't clap?

Stephen Hawking

Why can't T-Rexs clap their hands?

Because they're all dead

What do you call a man who claps at Christmas?

Santapplause!

How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, and ten people to stand around clapping and saying "Aww, how brave."

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What is a geometry teachers favorite movie?

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How can one get rid of the echo while playing a movie?

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What did the doctor say to the cancer patient?

You have tumor months to live.

How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, and ten people to stand around clapping and saying "Aww, how brave."

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What does the husband say to his wife whose nose is bleeding?

Nothing, he already said it twice.

What has two legs and bleeds a lot?

Half a dog

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Well, nearly 320,000 people round there have a Wigan address.

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Why aren't "Blonde jokes" funny?

Cause they're stupid.

What disease causes people to swear at the dinner table?

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What joke has recieved the most upvotes on Reddit?

Redditors.

Where does a North Korean go after he upvotes a thread on Reddit?

To the morgue.