What vegetable is a bug most afraid of?

Stephen Hawking

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Where's the best place to hide a body?

Stephen Hawking's personal gym.

What if Stephen Hawking is the real Slim Shady?

But we'll never know, because he can't stand up?

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Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stpehen hawking after a house fire.

What has a tongue, cannot walk, but gets around a lot?

Steven Hawking

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Why do you never see any bugs in a church?

Because they are in sects.

What do you call a Zen master from eastern Europe who's been bugging you all day?

A Buddha Pest.