Bug Jokes

What's the difference between a penalty shot in basketball, and a tiny curly wig designed for a bug?

One is a free throw, and the other is a flea 'fro.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What do you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs in the system?

A spider

What bug has to watch it's sugar intake?

A dia-beetle

Why did the blonde call an exterminator?

Her computer had a bug...

Which web developer enjoys finding bugs?

A spider!

What language do bugs in the Middle East speak?

Scarabic

What's the difference between squash and zucchini?

You can't zucchini bugs! A family-friendly take on the age old "jam VS jelly" joke.

What vegetable is a bug most afraid of?

Stephen Hawking

What do you call it when you grind your teeth because you are bugged you forgot your dental floss?

Flossless compression!

Why wasn't there a Captain America movie tie in videogame?

Because every time one bug was fixed, 2 more appeared.

What do you say when German secret police is bugging you?

GeSTAHPo!

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How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, as long as they can find a way in.

What kind of bug do you find on a long car ride?

An I-shoulda-pede.

What do you call a bug on the moon?

A lunatic! (luna-tick)

What does a bug say when it accidentally breaks its exoskeleton?

You gotta be chitin me!

What kind of bug can survive all winter?

A bahumbug!

Why don't other bugs like earwigs?

Because they are always earwigging their conversations!

What should you do if you get lots of e-mails saying 'What's up Doc?

What's up Doc ' Check for bugs in your system.

How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

What's the difference between a bug and an insect?

Judging by Table 5's reactions, not a lot.

Why do you never see any bugs in a church?

Because they are in sects.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Which bug gobbles up trash?

Second Caribou: The litterbug.

Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts?

Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.

Who's there! Bug! Bug who?

Bug Rodgers!

What do you call a bug that can't talk?

A hoarse fly.

What kind of bug wants to buy lawn turf?

A gras shopper.

How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, as long as they can find a way in.

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Language Jokes More Language Jokes

What language do pigs speak?

Depends on which country they're from.

What language do pirates speak?

Arrrrrrabic! A friend and I were extremely high and he thought of this.Good times.

Spider Jokes More Spider Jokes

What do you call a spider that likes 80s music?

A Durantula.

What do you get if you cross a spider and an elephant?

I'm not sure but if you see one walking across the ceiling then run before it collapses!

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What's in a Paul Walker shot?

An Irish car bomb followed by a shot of Fireball

Why did the cowboy brush his teeth with gunpowder?

So he could shoot his mouth off.

Eastern Europe Jokes More Eastern Europe Jokes

Where in Eastern Europe does Justin Timberlake like to kayaking?

Crimea River

Why do so many American tourists end up in eastern Europe?

They get Hungary so they go for Turkey.

Guarantee Jokes More Guarantee Jokes

What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?

Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back

What is the 100% guaranteed way to get younger looking skin?

Believe in reincarnation.

Africa Jokes More Africa Jokes

Why do androids go to Africa to party?

Because Botswana have fun.

Whats the most popular breakfast food in Africa?

Ebola cereal!

Mosqui Toe Jokes More Mosqui Toe Jokes

What kind of bug bites only at your feet?

Mosqui-toes

Which is the only insect that needs to wear shoes?

Mosqui-toes.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a brick and an MRA?

Bricks get laid.

What's the difference between a magicians wand and a policeman's baton?

A magicians wand is used for cunning stuns.