Bug Jokes

What's the difference between a penalty shot in basketball, and a tiny curly wig designed for a bug?

One is a free throw, and the other is a flea 'fro.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What do you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs in the system?

A spider

What bug has to watch it's sugar intake?

A dia-beetle

Why did the blonde call an exterminator?

Her computer had a bug...

Which web developer enjoys finding bugs?

A spider!

What language do bugs in the Middle East speak?

Scarabic

What's the difference between squash and zucchini?

You can't zucchini bugs! A family-friendly take on the age old "jam VS jelly" joke.

What vegetable is a bug most afraid of?

Stephen Hawking

What do you call it when you grind your teeth because you are bugged you forgot your dental floss?

Flossless compression!

Why wasn't there a Captain America movie tie in videogame?

Because every time one bug was fixed, 2 more appeared.

What do you say when German secret police is bugging you?

GeSTAHPo!

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How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, as long as they can find a way in.

What kind of bug do you find on a long car ride?

An I-shoulda-pede.

What do you call a bug on the moon?

A lunatic! (luna-tick)

What does a bug say when it accidentally breaks its exoskeleton?

You gotta be chitin me!

What kind of bug can survive all winter?

A bahumbug!

Why don't other bugs like earwigs?

Because they are always earwigging their conversations!

What should you do if you get lots of e-mails saying 'What's up Doc?

What's up Doc ' Check for bugs in your system.

How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

What's the difference between a bug and an insect?

Judging by Table 5's reactions, not a lot.

Why do you never see any bugs in a church?

Because they are in sects.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Which bug gobbles up trash?

Second Caribou: The litterbug.

Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts?

Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.

Who's there! Bug! Bug who?

Bug Rodgers!

What do you call a bug that can't talk?

A hoarse fly.

What kind of bug wants to buy lawn turf?

A gras shopper.

How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, as long as they can find a way in.

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Vw Bug Jokes More Vw Bug Jokes

How to do fit ten popes in a vw bug?

Tell them to take off their hats

What's more difficult than getting a pregnant elephant in a VW bug?

Getting an elephant pregnant in a VW bug.

Web Developer Jokes More Web Developer Jokes

Why do the Avengers keep calling Spiderman over to fix their computer?

Because they heard he's a web developer.

What does Bob the spider do for a living?

He's a web developer.

Pregnant Elephant Jokes More Pregnant Elephant Jokes

What's more difficult than getting a pregnant elephant in a VW bug?

Getting an elephant pregnant in a VW bug.

What's harder than getting a pregnant elephant into a Volkswagen?

Getting an elephant pregnant in a Volkswagen.

Europe Jokes More Europe Jokes

What do you get if you digitise a map of northern Europe?

Scanned-in-avia

What did NATO say to the EU at the World Organization baseball game?

Europe!

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of music do they play at Stonehenge?

Hard Rock.

What kind of bus can cross the ocean?

A Columbus.

Malaria Jokes More Malaria Jokes

How did you get malaria from a stab?

Malaryan Steel.

Why is Pokemon quite realistic?

Because in the games, Bug-types are effective against Dark-types. Just like malaria in Africa.

Atheist Jokes More Atheist Jokes

What do you get if you breed a Green Lantern, a car and an atheist?

Willing suspension of disbelief

What does an insomniac, philosopher, atheist, dyslexic do at night?

Lay awake, contemplating the existence of Dog.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between "choice" and "choose?

Choice" is your ability to make decisions, "choose" are what Mexicans put on their feet.

What's the difference between the dog and the fox?

About four beers