Bug Jokes

What's the difference between a penalty shot in basketball, and a tiny curly wig designed for a bug?

One is a free throw, and the other is a flea 'fro.

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What do you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs in the system?

A spider

What bug has to watch it's sugar intake?

A dia-beetle

Why did the blonde call an exterminator?

Her computer had a bug...

Which web developer enjoys finding bugs?

A spider!

What do you call a Zen master from eastern Europe who's been bugging you all day?

A Buddha Pest.

What language do bugs in the Middle East speak?

Scarabic

What's the difference between squash and zucchini?

You can't zucchini bugs! A family-friendly take on the age old "jam VS jelly" joke.

What vegetable is a bug most afraid of?

Stephen Hawking

What do you call it when you grind your teeth because you are bugged you forgot your dental floss?

Flossless compression!

Why wasn't there a Captain America movie tie in videogame?

Because every time one bug was fixed, 2 more appeared.

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What do you say when German secret police is bugging you?

GeSTAHPo!

How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, as long as they can find a way in.

What kind of bug do you find on a long car ride?

An I-shoulda-pede.

What do you call a bug on the moon?

A lunatic! (luna-tick)

What does a bug say when it accidentally breaks its exoskeleton?

You gotta be chitin me!

What kind of bug can survive all winter?

A bahumbug!

Why don't other bugs like earwigs?

Because they are always earwigging their conversations!

What should you do if you get lots of e-mails saying 'What's up Doc?

What's up Doc ' Check for bugs in your system.

How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

What's the difference between a bug and an insect?

Judging by Table 5's reactions, not a lot.

What did the Pink Panther say as he stepped on a bug?

Dead Ant, Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant, Dead AaaaaaaaaaAAAaaannt

Why do you never see any bugs in a church?

Because they are in sects.

Which bug gobbles up trash?

Second Caribou: The litterbug.

Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts?

Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.

Who's there! Bug! Bug who?

Bug Rodgers!

How many "can't"s can a white girl "can't" before she literally can't even?

My brother asked me this when i woke up and it has been bugging me all day.

Whatcha inventing?

I call it a picnic. It's a meal but outside with bugs and a high risk of bear attack." "Can I bring my kids " "Sure."

What do you call a bug that can't talk?

A hoarse fly.

What kind of bug wants to buy lawn turf?

A gras shopper.

How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, as long as they can find a way in.

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Africa Jokes More Africa Jokes

Why is gambling not allowed in Africa?

Because there are too many cheetahs.

Why did the toy company stop donating toys to kids in Africa?

Because it's pretty depressing to have a Tamagotchi that'll out-live you.

Fail Jokes More Fail Jokes

Why did the atheist fail algebra?

He didn't believe in higher powers!

Why is Chris Christie such a successful man?

Because he is too big to fail.

Zen Master Jokes More Zen Master Jokes

What did the Zen master say to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything.

What do you call a Zen master from eastern Europe who's been bugging you all day?

A Buddha Pest.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of ring is the least exciting?

A BOring

What kind of limes open doors?

Key limes.

Vw Bug Jokes More Vw Bug Jokes

How to do fit ten popes in a vw bug?

Tell them to take off their hats

What's more difficult than getting a pregnant elephant in a VW bug?

Getting an elephant pregnant in a VW bug.

Buddha Pest Jokes More Buddha Pest Jokes

What do you call a Zen master from eastern Europe who's been bugging you all day?

A Buddha Pest.

What do you call a Hungarian insect who won't leave siddhartha alone?

A Buddha-pest.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

How many Syrians does it take to launch a missle?

Two. One to launch it, and one to watch CNN to find out where it landed.

What do you call someone who only watches Horror Anime?

A Ouijaboo.

Bug Bite Jokes More Bug Bite Jokes

What's the best kind of cream......to get rid of spots and bug bites?

Creamation.

What kind of bug bites only at your feet?

Mosqui-toes