Bug Jokes

What's the difference between a penalty shot in basketball, and a tiny curly wig designed for a bug?

One is a free throw, and the other is a flea 'fro.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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What do you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs in the system?

A spider

What bug has to watch it's sugar intake?

A dia-beetle

Why did the blonde call an exterminator?

Her computer had a bug...

Which web developer enjoys finding bugs?

A spider!

What language do bugs in the Middle East speak?

Scarabic

What's the difference between squash and zucchini?

You can't zucchini bugs! A family-friendly take on the age old "jam VS jelly" joke.

What vegetable is a bug most afraid of?

Stephen Hawking

What do you call it when you grind your teeth because you are bugged you forgot your dental floss?

Flossless compression!

Why wasn't there a Captain America movie tie in videogame?

Because every time one bug was fixed, 2 more appeared.

What do you say when German secret police is bugging you?

GeSTAHPo!

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How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, as long as they can find a way in.

What kind of bug do you find on a long car ride?

An I-shoulda-pede.

What do you call a bug on the moon?

A lunatic! (luna-tick)

What does a bug say when it accidentally breaks its exoskeleton?

You gotta be chitin me!

What kind of bug can survive all winter?

A bahumbug!

Why don't other bugs like earwigs?

Because they are always earwigging their conversations!

What should you do if you get lots of e-mails saying 'What's up Doc?

What's up Doc ' Check for bugs in your system.

How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich?

Don't be silly, walruses don't make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

What's the difference between a bug and an insect?

Judging by Table 5's reactions, not a lot.

Why do you never see any bugs in a church?

Because they are in sects.

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Which bug gobbles up trash?

Second Caribou: The litterbug.

Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts?

Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.

Who's there! Bug! Bug who?

Bug Rodgers!

Whatcha inventing?

I call it a picnic. It's a meal but outside with bugs and a high risk of bear attack." "Can I bring my kids " "Sure."

What do you call a bug that can't talk?

A hoarse fly.

What kind of bug wants to buy lawn turf?

A gras shopper.

How many bugs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, as long as they can find a way in.

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What did the Zen master say to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything.

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

What do you call an elephant that can't do sums?

Dumbo!

What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court?

Annette!

Computer Jokes More Computer Jokes

What do you get when you cross a computer with a lifeguard?

A screensaver.

What did they say about the computer at the Bunny Ranch?

It may contain viruses.

Middle East Jokes More Middle East Jokes

Why do people regard the middle east as the holy land?

Because they're constantly drilling for oil.

Why is the middle east the best place to open a store at the moment?

Because business is booming.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

Who Shot First? Boba Fett or Jango Fett?

Han Solo

What did Plaxico Burress say when he read Colin Kaepernick's Tweets?

Man, this guy just keeps shooting himself in the foot".

Vw Jokes More Vw Jokes

Why do some people love their VW diesel cars?

Well, it's the official car of the New England Patriots after all.

Why do blondes drive VWs?

Because they can spell it.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of printer does a pig use?

An oinkjet.

What kind of furniture do pigs like best?

Overstuffed.