What's black and sits at the top of a staircase?

Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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What's black and sits on top of a staircase?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire.

Why did the detective go to the apartment complex?

So he could solve the staircase.

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Who has the fastest brain in the world?

Steven Hawking with a brake failure!

How does Steven Hawking refresh after a long work day?

F5 (sorry Imgoingtohellforthis)