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How bad is my career?

I met a homeless guy on the beach in Los Angeles & thought "Wow this guy has it made"

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why did the man drowning in the Nile River think he wasn't going to die?

Because he was in de-Nile.

Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?

She thought children should be seen and not herded!

Beach Jokes More Beach Jokes

Why did the shell not go to the beach?

Because he was self-CONCH-ious.

What did the Ocean say to the Beach?

Nothing, it just waved... Prolly my favorite joke of all time, maybe ever.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you call a guy who hangs around a bunch of musicians?

A drummer!!!!!

What is the definition of "making love"?

Something a woman does while a guy is screwing her.

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

How did the puppeteer meet the President?

He pulled some strings.

What do you say if you meet a toad?

Wart's new

Career Jokes More Career Jokes

Who is an archaeologist?

One whose career is in ruins.

Why couldn't the dolphin choose a career?

She had no sense of porpoise.

Los Angeles Jokes More Los Angeles Jokes

Where's the best view of falling stars in Los Angeles?

The Betty Ford Clinic

When people go to ask me "hey man, are you from Los Angeles?

I'll be like "nah dude,I just really like the French feminine definite article"

Homeless Guy Jokes More Homeless Guy Jokes

How do you know a homeless woman is menstruating?

If she's only wearing one sock. (This joke brought to you courtesy the homeless guy outside my local 7-11.) Edit: tweaked the punchline.

How many homeless guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only 2, but I have no idea how you're gonna fit both of them inside a lightbulb.