Australia Jokes

How do you write poop in Australia?

Dood

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What's the difference between Britain and Australia?

When one votes, it changes something, making things worse. When another votes, it doesn't change anything, making things worse.

What's the difference between Australia and Yogurt?

Culture

What do you call an Australian singer who was born in Australia?

Aussie Aus-born.

What do space-related scientists call themselves in Australia?

Austronomers

What did Tony Abbott do when he heard Denmark had surplus wind power?

Cut funding for wind power in Australia

Which phone is most sold in Australia?

The htc M8. Oi mate

Why wouldn't you hire bears from Australia?

Because they don't have the necessary koalafications. (Derived from: )

Why can't bears get jobs in Australia?

They don't have the right koalfications!

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and an elephant?

Big holes all over Australia!

Which I replied, "Wanna know whats also the size of Australia?

Australia.

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Who is the most famous DJ in Australia?

DJ Redo

What do you call a nutty dog in Australia?

A dingo-ling!

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!

Whats the difference between Australia and a yoghurt?

Leave a yoghurt out in the sun for 300 years and it'll develop a culture

Why was Jesus not born in Australia?

Because God could not find three wise men and a virgin.

Which country's currency weighs as much as it's worth?

Australia. Because five $0.20 coins are about half a pound.

Why did Jesus not go to Australia?

He couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

Why is chess confusing in Australia?

That's check, mate.

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What do you call a camel with no humps?

Humpfree!

What is the difference between a camel and a college student?

Camel can go days without drinking!

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Why don't fairies live under toadstools?

Because there's not mushroom!

What type of cheese lives under your bed?

Muenster.

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Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

What do you call seagulls during mating season?

Relationshipgulls

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Whats the difference between America and Yogurt?

If you leave Yogurt alone for 200 years, it develops a culture.

What is the difference between the US and yogurt?

If you leave yogurt for 200 years it'll grow a culture.

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Why don't bears wear boots?

Cos they like to walk around in their bear feet.

How fast can a bear run?

As fast as it can bear.

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What did the urologist say to his physician before he hired him?

URINE.

Why wouldn't you hire bears from Australia?

Because they don't have the necessary koalafications. (Derived from: )

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Why are burglars such good tennis players?

Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts!

Why are promise rings 1/10th the price of engagement rings?

They only work 10% of the time.

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