Australia Jokes

How do you write poop in Australia?

Dood

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What's the difference between Britain and Australia?

When one votes, it changes something, making things worse. When another votes, it doesn't change anything, making things worse.

What's the difference between Australia and Yogurt?

Culture

What do you call an Australian singer who was born in Australia?

Aussie Aus-born.

What do space-related scientists call themselves in Australia?

Austronomers

What did Tony Abbott do when he heard Denmark had surplus wind power?

Cut funding for wind power in Australia

Which phone is most sold in Australia?

The htc M8. Oi mate

Why wouldn't you hire bears from Australia?

Because they don't have the necessary koalafications. (Derived from: )

Why can't bears get jobs in Australia?

They don't have the right koalfications!

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and an elephant?

Big holes all over Australia!

Which I replied, "Wanna know whats also the size of Australia?

Australia.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$19.99

Who is the most famous DJ in Australia?

DJ Redo

What do you call a nutty dog in Australia?

A dingo-ling!

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!

Whats the difference between Australia and a yoghurt?

Leave a yoghurt out in the sun for 300 years and it'll develop a culture

Why was Jesus not born in Australia?

Because God could not find three wise men and a virgin.

Which country's currency weighs as much as it's worth?

Australia. Because five $0.20 coins are about half a pound.

Why did Jesus not go to Australia?

He couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

Why is chess confusing in Australia?

That's check, mate.

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Write Jokes More Write Jokes

Why does Bernie Sanders write in lowercase letters?

Because he hates capitalism.

What rhymes with California?

Every Red Hot Chili Peppers song writing session ever

Funding Jokes More Funding Jokes

What did Tony Abbott do when he heard Denmark had surplus wind power?

Cut funding for wind power in Australia

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a cow?

A stern rebuke from the Ethics Committee, and an immediate cessation of funding.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Why does Caitlyn Jenner feel like her kids see though her?

I guess she is trans parent now Edit: *through

What does having kids bring you that money simply can't buy?

Poverty

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

Whats the difference between a tornado and a divorce in the south?

Nothing, because either way, someone is losing their trailer.

What's the difference between 2015 and Moore's Law?

One's the year of the ram, the other is the ram of the year.

Culture Jokes More Culture Jokes

Why do people love working at yogurt factories?

Because of the culture!

What's the difference between Americans and yogurt?

If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it'll grow a culture

Mate Jokes More Mate Jokes

Why couldn't the t-rex find a mate?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction.

Who did the sea captain lose his virginity to?

His first mate

Relate Jokes More Relate Jokes

How are UFO's related to hamburgers?

Both are Unidentified Frying Objects!

Where can you go to fill all of your rhino related needs?

Rhinos R Us

72 Jokes More 72 Jokes

What's 72?

69 with 3 people watching!

What has 72 teeth and holds back The Hulk?

My zipper.