China probably can pop corn in one minute.
Me: Let's not rush things, OK
The operating system
From a cat-alogue!
A garden Jose.
A segreGATOR
A toothbrush.
Girl: Your feet.
Reelection.
A whambulance
Working people's wallets.
They fall for things hook line and sinker!
He doesn't know how to turn things down
A duck
The alphabat.
Papal
NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things
Because they've no pockets to put things in!
Asworstos.
You add a dab of glue.
Because he was always pinching things.
This joke. PS: You don't think so Prove me wrong.
Jason: Two things: I got 50 in Spelling and 50 in History. Mother: Well at least you can add!
I want to make sure I have a backup before I put this thing on Ebay.
The last thing you want to do is get on a plane that doesn't go all the way.
A bullet.
Well, it's not easy, but I start by being generally bad at almost all things.
Son: Well you know how it is. Things are always marked down after Christmas!
Their knees! Please comment "No"
Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.
Spits*
Now I wonder the same thing.
The teacher doesn't know a thing all she does is ask questions!
Get off me Daddy, you're crushing my cigarettes.
It's rear end!
So weird having men walk around in suits and half ties.
Jar Jars.
He likes to keep things low key.
You're hired" "Not guilty"
I ain't Willie Nelson.
A. They really raised Cain.
Anne hath a way.
The corpse.
T: No-sees it's almost 3 pm Magic
The satis-factory.
A fumble bee!
The business plan.
You've got a lot of potential, son.
A cosmetrologist.
Because what's good the goose is good for Merganser.
The volleyball net.
The dishes if she knows whats good for her.
You go on to bed, I'm just going to hang here a while.
Go big or go home
Walks home.
Stand back, I don't know how big this thing is gonna get!
They take things literally.
Your fingers.
"Today children we will learn our ABC's"
Parrot says, "Africa."
A weapons designer for the First Order.
3, a person, a ladder, and another lightbulb
Because they research everything.
A pro-noun!
Reposts
Dijon-vu mustard... (Sorry)
Because clams are shelf-ish.
A boa constructor.
Hey guys, why don't we try one of my songs
I'm not Willie Nelson.
Takes off lampshade* What's wrong with this thing
He's not a tight end anymore)
Asked Jerry Sandusky for his lil black book.
They're married.
Patient: I'm a salesman and I keep selling myself things I don't want.
Because when I get turned on things get really hot
Don't feel blue, Berry, things will get batter
It makes his Dagobah faster.
Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!
Those are the things on the ends of my feetsis. Thought of this during my last bio exam.
Older
Cash or Czech Edit: a word
Czarcasm.
The pirate responds: "Arr, its been drivin' me nuts."
With ConCurrency, of course.
They use astro knots.
Two soldiers are in a tank. One turns to the other and says "GLUGGLUGBLUGBWOOABB"
Lawn chair.
He was turning things over in his mind.
She starts her sentance with "A man once told me"
A *fabric*ator. It was a slow day at work...
Try to neghostiate.
There's some things I've licked that I don't want.
He says Irish coffee is the only thing keeping this family together
1961
Oh yeah...39
Do you know how to drive this thing
By looking out the kitchen window.
Me: Because if things ever get crazy, they'll know where to find me.
What goes "snap crackle and pop" A firefly with a short circuit!
Smiles. Because there's a mile between both S.
His poem had ABAD rhyme pattern.
They both work in gastronomy
Astronomy is about things too big to wrap your head around, while gastronomy is about things small enough to wrap your head around.
The picture of Jesus only takes one nail to hang up.
I actually don't know where to post this idea, true jokes maybe?... There has to be a food for thought sub. This is your OP, I promise to deliver!
Me: Heaven. 3: I don't want to go there. Me: Why not 3: It's full of dead people.
Because abortions float.
She didn't want six inches of snow all year long.
Au nevoir.
I do updates before I do updates. And then I do updates.
His matey told him he needed an iPatch
I don't know but it was hard as hell stealing thier wheelchairs with pieces of Richard Simmons tripping me up.
Comcast
A. 3. 1 to find the bulb 1 to find a ladder and 1 to find a man.
None. Its already lit, fam.
