What's that thing called where every time you stand up you have to limp for the first minute?

Oh yeah...39

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Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why can't you tell pun jokes to kleptomaniacs?

Because they always take things literally

What is the thing called that irrigates your lawn?

A garden Jose.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What did the woman do when a lemon tree fell her cat?

Nothing, she just stood there with a sour puss

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up for itself?

Because it was two-tyred.

Minute Jokes More Minute Jokes

What's the difference between a mixologist and a bartender?

About ten minutes.

How many words can you type a minute?

ME: Probably all of them BOSS: What do you mean ME: Well, like for example, pickle

Limp Jokes More Limp Jokes

Why does little sally have a limp?

SHE WENT TO JARED!

What do pirates and pimps have in common?

They both say "YO HO!" and walk with a limp!