Why is Pizza Hut listed as your emergency contact?

Me: Because if things ever get crazy, they'll know where to find me.

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What is Shakespeare's favourite writing utensil?

I don't know, but it was either 2B or not 2B.

Why are Mumford & Sons the only agnostic rock band?

Because they don't even know if they believe.

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How did the townsfolk find out the pigeons were plotting a revolution?

They heard them in the town square saying, "Coup, coup!"

How many Dragon Ball Z episodes does it take to change a lightbulb?

Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z***

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What was the last thing Daedalus said to Icarus?

You've got a lot of potential, son.

What's the last thing someone wants to hear while blowing Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson.

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Why is Pizza Hut listed as your emergency contact?

Me: Because if things ever get crazy, they'll know where to find me.

What are some of your weaknesses?

Applicant: I'm lazy I: that's it A: I'm lazy to list them all...

Pizza Hut Jokes More Pizza Hut Jokes

What's the address here?

The Pizza Hut guy can't find me.

Why is Pizza Hut listed as your emergency contact?

Me: Because if things ever get crazy, they'll know where to find me.