Britain Jokes

Why does Britain love tea so much?

Because tea leaves.

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What's the difference between Britain and Australia?

When one votes, it changes something, making things worse. When another votes, it doesn't change anything, making things worse.

Why did all of Britain stop smoking pot?

Because they all joined

Why does Britain like tea so much?

Because tea leaves.

Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?

They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.

What is Britain's most popular newspaper amongst breastfeeding mothers?

The Daily Express.

What do you get when you cross France and Britain?

Canada.

Why are there no penguins in Britain?

They're scared of Wales.

What's the most common owl in Britain?

The tea towel

What's Imperial Britain's favorite game?

Clash of Clans

What do you call the Dollar Tree stores in Britain?

Pound Town

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Why does America spell some words differently?

They said "We can do it without u, Britain."

Why don't you see penguins in Britain?

Because they're afraid of Wales

Which is the worst career choice?

Dentistry in Britain Nutritionist in the Midwest North Pole stripper during an antifreeze shortage

What's better than having a 'Brexit' vote about Britain leaving the EU?

Not being British.

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Eu Jokes More Eu Jokes

What have Disney and the U.K. got in common?

Both dropped the EU And screwed over a lot of people

What did GB say to EU?

Peace out, EUROn EUROwn!

Australia Jokes More Australia Jokes

What do you call a nutty dog in Australia?

A dingo-ling!

Why was Jesus not born in Australia?

Because God could not find three wise men and a virgin.

America Jokes More America Jokes

Why is it "canceled" in America, but "cancelled" in England?

Because we gave them that L in 1776.

Why does America have so many boasting Republicans?

Because it needs some bragging rights.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What's the difference between Santa and Justin Beiber?

Santa stops at 3 Ho's

What happens to Stephen Hawking when he stops laughing?

He writes scary stories.

Bomb Jokes More Bomb Jokes

What did the U.S. airdrop to the children of Afghanistan?

Bombs

Where did Susie go when her town got bombed?

Everywhere.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross Gnomes and Worgen??

Micro-Worgenisms! (From my Bizzard support ticket response today.)

What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel, and a dachshund?

A hot diggity dog.

Penguin Jokes More Penguin Jokes

How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together!

What bird can write underwater?

A ball-point Penguin!

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What did the smoked salmon say after it realised it was no longer ill?

I'm cured!

What did the old chimney say to the younger chimney?

You're too young to smoke!