How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts her sentence with, "A man once told me..."

This joke may have profanity.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many Carpathians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, Vigo and see. (best read in Yanosh's voice)

What is the difference between a bus driver and a cold?

One knows the stops the other stops the nose.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How do you make a small fortune in aviation?

Start out with a large fortune.

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How does a woman apologize to a man?

I'm sorry, but it's your fault.

What does the man say when he walks into the bar?

Can I please get a drink

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why does vampire Superman want to go out?

Because he doesn't want to be around the crypt tonight. (you can tell i made that up)

Why shouldn't you tell a story to a solipsist?

Because they won't believe it.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you yell when a woman falls of a boat?

Full speed ahead

What do women and rocks have in common?

You can skip the flat ones.

Sentence Jokes More Sentence Jokes

What do you call someone who finishes a sentence with you?

Partner in crime.

What's wrong with the sentence "Jack and Jill is playing in the field?

Women should be first.