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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What does Batman like adding to his drinks?

JUST-ICE

What is someone who takes drugs?

What is someone who drinks What hit you in the face last night

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why are black people so good at running?

Because when they here the gun go off they start runnin.

What do you call a reptile who anyways starts fights?

An Insti-Gator

Bulb Jokes More Bulb Jokes

How many Bill Gateses does it take to change a light bulb?

One. He puts the bulb in and lets the world revolve around him.

How many ska kids does it take to change a light bulb?

Three; one to drop the bulb and two to yell "pick it up pick it up!"

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What military rank do you hold while using a pay toilet?

Lieutenant

Why are children's birthday parties never held in outer space?

Because I hear that in space there is no ice-cream.

Spin Jokes More Spin Jokes

What's the best part of dating a quadriplegic?

Spinning her like a top when she rides you cowboy style.

How can you tell if a tornado is stupid?

If it spins anti-cyclonically

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many cafeteria staff does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry we closed 18 seconds ago and I've just cashed up.

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many Asians does it take to change a light bulb?

2. 1 to change the light bulb, the other to take pictures.

How many Will Ferrell's does it take to change a light bulb?

One, AND IT'S NOT FUNNY!

Room Jokes More Room Jokes

What do you have in a room full of tweakers?

A full set of teeth.

Why didn't the astronauts stay on the moon?

Because it was a full moon and there was no room.

Alcoholic Jokes More Alcoholic Jokes

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

What do a pirate wench and an alcoholic have in common?

They've both got a little Captain in them.