Two. One to do it, the other to give him his ribbon.
None. It's too dark.
Er two. Or maybe one. No --- on second thoughts make that two. Is that okay with you
One, but you can be sure a whole Reddit community will appear to expand the joke, make it funnier and eventually run it into the ground.
Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.
None! We don't change light bulbs. We disrupt them.
None. Their parents will do it for them.
They became flatman and ribbon. has left the building.
Flatman and Ribbon
