Astronomy Jokes

What's the difference between astronomy and gastronomy?

Astronomy is about things too big to wrap your head around, while gastronomy is about things small enough to wrap your head around.

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What do you get when you cross astronomy and cosmology with a dyslexic girl at Starbucks?

Astrology, cosmetology, and a pumpkin space latte

What's the difference between astronomy & astrology?

Me: Approximately 50-60 IQ points.

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Telescope Jokes More Telescope Jokes

Why do telescopes like the Moon so much?

Because they find him very down to earth.

How many times can look at the sun with a telescope?

You can do this twice. One time with you right eye and one with your left!

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What's the fastest animal in the world?

A chicken crossing Ethiopia. What's the second fastest animal... The ethiopian chasing it.

Why did the bacteria cross the microscope?

To get to the other slide

Wrap Jokes More Wrap Jokes

What did the Psychiatrist say to the naked man wrapped in surran wrap?

Well I can clearly see your nuts

What did a police officer write in the criminal report, when they found a homey from the bottom of a lake, wrapped in 200 kg's of metal chains?

Offender stole more than he could carry by swimming

End Jokes More End Jokes

Why are New Yorkers so depressed?

Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.

What starts with E, ends with E, and only has one letter in it?

An envelope!

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do you get if you walk under a cow?

A pat on the head.

Why is it quicker to build a snowman than a snowwoman?

It takes too long to hollow out her head. (I got this one from my uncle)

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

How many women does it take to bring down Herman Cain?

Nine-Nine-Nine

Why did God make women last?

He didn't want someone telling him what to do

Gastronomy Jokes More Gastronomy Jokes

What's the difference between astronomy and gastronomy?

Astronomy is about things too big to wrap your head around, while gastronomy is about things small enough to wrap your head around.

What does a chef and a gravitational wave astronomer have in common?

They both work in gastronomy

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Whats the last thing you give a tickle me Elmo before it leaves the factory?

Two test-tickles.

How many livers do people have?

I want to make sure I have a backup before I put this thing on Ebay.