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How is today Monday?

It was Friday only a few hours ago...

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Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the inside of her coffin.

Why is today John Philip Sousa Day?

Because he told everyone to march fourth.

Friday Jokes More Friday Jokes

Where do Crows hang out on a Friday nght?

At a crow bar.

Why does the letter "r" make all the difference between Friday and Sunday?

Payday vs prayday.

Monday Jokes More Monday Jokes

How many consultants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I'm not sure but I'll have an answer for you next Monday.

Why are you all so excited it's Friday?

Monday will be here in 5 minutes.

Hour Ago Jokes More Hour Ago Jokes

What do we want!?

No daylight savings!" "When do we want it! " "An hour ago!!!"

Why did my wife cross the road?

To go back into the first clothes shop we went into two hours ago.