How is today Monday?

It was Friday only a few hours ago...

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Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the inside of her coffin.

What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"

Friday Jokes More Friday Jokes

What do you call the day after a sad Friday?

A sadder day.

Where do Muslims go after their Friday prayer?

To the Allahu Akbar

Monday Jokes More Monday Jokes

What fundamental force compels physicists to go to work on Mondays?

The week force.

Why do physicists have such a hard time figuring out why their experiments fail Monday through Thursday?

Causal fridays.

Hour Ago Jokes More Hour Ago Jokes

What do we want!?

No daylight savings!" "When do we want it! " "An hour ago!!!"

How is today Monday?

It was Friday only a few hours ago...