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How is today Monday?

It was Friday only a few hours ago...

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Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What would Kim Jong-Il be doing if he was still alive today?

Scratching at the lid of his coffin.

How can I help you today, Mr Simpson?

BART: I don't know where my hair starts

Friday Jokes More Friday Jokes

What do you call the day after a sad Friday?

A sadder day.

What song can never be played on #throwback Thursday?

Friday by Rebecca Black

Monday Jokes More Monday Jokes

How long have you been in pain?

Women: It started at 7:45am on Monday while I was at work Men: Sometime between yesterday and 1997

Why does Garfield hate Mondays?

He doesn't have a job.

Hour Ago Jokes More Hour Ago Jokes

How is today Monday?

It was Friday only a few hours ago...

Why did my wife cross the road?

To go back into the first clothes shop we went into two hours ago.