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Ice Cream Jokes

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she didn't have any arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Definitely not Sally. Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck Why didn't the truck turn out of the way? Sally Was driving

I Love Pizza & You

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I Love Pizza & You

What would Game of Thrones be called if it was about ice cream?

Game of Cones If it was about sword sharpening: Game of Hones If it was just everyone playing Go: Game of Stones If everyone was single: Game of Alones If it was about balls: Game of Throwns If it was about spooky scary skeletons: Game of Bones If everyone used UAVs to fight: Game of Drones If everyone was a banker: Game of Loans If it was about breakfast foods: Game of Scones

Why are children's birthday parties never held in outer space?

Because I hear that in space there is no ice-cream.

What did Ernie say when his friend tried to convince him he was ice cream?

Are you surebert?

Who wants ice cream?

Uta Hagen daz.

What did the Ice Cream say to the Birthday Girl?

Go 'head girl, it's sherbert day

What's the difference between Americans and ice cream?

Ice cream fits in a tub.

What do you call ice cream that robs a bank?

Heist cream Got to give credit to my friend, who sadly dosent have reddit.

What does M.Night Shyamalan always order when he goes out for ice cream?

A large twist cone.

Why did the kid drop his ice cream?

Because the bus hit him.

Why did little Johnny lose his ice cream?

He got his by a bus. My little brother just told me this!

Love

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Love

How many pancakes can you fit into a dog house?

None because ice cream doesn't have bones.

What's M. Night Shyamalan's favorite flavor of ice cream?

Twist

What did Ernie say to Bert when he asked for ice cream?

Sure, Bert!

Why is a praying muslim like apple pie with ice cream?

Both are in *a la mode*.

What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?

I'm sweet on you!

How do babies get out of bellies?

ME: "Look! Ice cream!" *5 min later* 3YO COVERED IN ICE CREAM: "How do babies get out of be---"

How many marshmallows does it take to get to the moon?

Purple, there are no bones in ice cream!

What do you get when you slice ice cream?

Slice cream!... I think I'll join the reposting group now...

How can you tell if an elephant's been to your birthday party?

Look for his footprints in the ice cream.

What dressing would you like on your salad?

Me: Ice cream

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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Your Age Is Only Math

How do you make a dog float?

Take two scoops of ice cream a couple of squirts of soda and a small dog.

What did Ernie say to Bert when he asked for ice-cream?

Sure, Bert!

What's colder than ice cream?

ISIS

Which football team loves ice-cream?

Aston Vanilla!

What do you get when someone teases you with ice cream then takes it away?

Blue Bells.

How do you make a dead dog shake?

2 scoops ice cream, 1 scoop dead dog.

Where do you learn to make ice cream?

Sundae School

What's a reporter's favorite food?

Ice cream because they always want a scoop!

How do you make a Gorilla float?

Two scoops of ice cream some club soda and a very tasty Gorilla!

What's Batman's favorite dessert?

Just ice cream

Birthday State of Mind

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Birthday State of Mind

What's an electrical engineers favorite flavor of ice cream?

Shocklate.

Why was the hipster drinking milk?

He liked Ice Cream before it was cool

What did Jay Z say to Beyonce after having an ice cream shoved up his arse?

I'm feeling a bit sorbet.

What is Imperator Furiosa's least favorite type of ice cream?

Rocky Road.

Where did you learn to make ice cream?

Sunday school.

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Who robbed Lochte at the Olympics?

Phelps.

What do you call it when a group of ghosts rob a bank?

A polterheist.

American Jokes More American Jokes

What do you call the most successful vasectomist in American history?

American Snipper

If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you when you're in there?

European

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Want to hear a chimney joke?

Got stacks of em! First one's on the house

What did Muslim sonic say on June 5?

Gotta go fasting!

Belly Jokes More Belly Jokes

What do you call a short, round-bellied Salarian?

Mordin Volus

How do babies get out of bellies?

ME: "Look! Ice cream!" *5 min later* 3YO COVERED IN ICE CREAM: "How do babies get out of be---"

Bank Jokes More Bank Jokes

Which is the only bank that drug tests all of its employees?

PNC

Why is it a good idea to put your money in the freezer, instead of the bank?

So you always have access to cold hard cash...

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What animal is best at hitting a baseball?

A bat!

What do you call two homeless people hitting each other with pieces of cardboard?

A pillow fight

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What do you call 2 black people on a bunk bed?

An Oreo

What do you call 2 Mexicans playing basketball?

Juan on Juan.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

Why did the wizard ask a pretty chick to throw a heavy box on him?

Not just the hard on............ it would've made him more flexible

Why did the washing machine stop?

Somebody threw the towel in.