Tech Jokes

What's the most surprising advancement in tech?

Headphone jacks are obsolete.

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What do you call the tech. at the vets who has to give injections to cats?

Claude.

How many IT support techs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Have you tried turning the light off and back on?

How many IT techs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ticket closed: Forwarded to facilities.

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Blame Jokes More Blame Jokes

Why are Cal Tech and MIT constantly Fighting?

Because MIT blames Cal Tech for stealing their Feynman, and there will never be another man as Fine.

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

Shine Jokes More Shine Jokes

How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?

Shine a flashlight in their ear.

What would happen if you ate yeast and polish?

You would rise and shine.

Claude Jokes More Claude Jokes

What do you cal a man with no arms and no legs fighting with his cat?

Claude

What do you call the loser in a hissing scratching cat fight?

Claude

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call a super kind man who spends too much time on the beach?

A tangent

Why does the army want to only recruit married men?

Because they don't want a man lost!

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What do you call a cat sitting on the edge of a cliff?

A precipuss.

Why was the cat so small?

Because it only ate condensed milk!

Facility Jokes More Facility Jokes

How many IT techs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ticket closed: Forwarded to facilities.

How many IT guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, that's a Facilities problem.

Vet Jokes More Vet Jokes

Why are we at the vet?

Me: So our pig can't have babies 6: How do you know she doesn't want babies Me:*looks at my kids* Just a hunch

How do I do that?

He asked. "Carefully" replied the vet.

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

How did Camelot get its name?

Guinevere liked to hump a lot.

What do you call an intersection where a lot of Asians cross?

A cross-wok.