Tech Jokes

What's the most surprising advancement in tech?

Headphone jacks are obsolete.

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What do you call the tech. at the vets who has to give injections to cats?

Claude.

How many IT support techs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Have you tried turning the light off and back on?

How many IT techs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ticket closed: Forwarded to facilities.

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Ticket Jokes More Ticket Jokes

Why did you ticket the computer?

Officer: It was speeding along the information highway.

Why are you crying after giving me that ticket?

Policeman: It was a moving violation.

Vet Jokes More Vet Jokes

What do you call a vet that can only work on one animal?

A doctor

Why were the vets and pounds mad?

It was raining cats and dogs

Claude Jokes More Claude Jokes

What do you call a man without arms or legs who gets into a fight with his cat?

Claude!

What do you call a French man who's been attacked by a bear?

Claude

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why is Thors bother so secretive?

Because he tries to keep things Loki...

Why did the dentist divorce the manicurist?

She tried to stick her finger in his cavity.

Fine Jokes More Fine Jokes

What did Marshawn Lynch say when he went to traffic school?

I'm just here so I won't get fined.

Why was the lion-tamer fined?

He parked on a yellow lion!

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What happened at the funeral of the man who invented the USB?

They lowered his coffin, took it out, flipped it the other way round, then lowered it again.

What did one renewable power source say to the other?

How did I wind up here I don't know man just go with the flow.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What did C: drive say to D: drive?

Wow you looked shocked.

Who's a good girl?

WHOSAGOODGIRRRRLLL Me: *looks around* *slowly raises hand*

Shine Jokes More Shine Jokes

Why am I not asleep?

He thought, while shining a beam of pure information directly into his eyes from eight inches away.

How do you get a Texas Tech senior's eyes to sparkle?

Shine a flashlight in his ears.