Japanese Jokes

How do Japanese Chihuahuas say 'Hello'?

Konichihuahua

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What do Japanese people say after a Thanksgiving prayer?

Ra'men.

What do Japanese people do when they have erections?

Vote!

What do Japanese Kids, Chinese Democracy and German Humor have in common?

All are equally oxymoronic.

What do you call the study of Japanese sound?

Yakuztics

What is "YEAH" in Japanese?

HAEY, obviously.

What do you call a Japanese Cougar with exceptional taste?

Umami

What do Japanese people do during an erection?

They go to the polls and vote.

Why are foodfights forbidden in Japanese schools?

The children always end up with lice in their hair.

Why do Democrats like to play Pokemon?

They've always enjoyed rounding up Japanese monsters.

What is Shaka's favorite Japanese food?

Shakitori!

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What do you call a half Mexican half Japanese jedi master?

Obi Juan Shinobi

What does it sounds like when a Japanese Homer Simpson forgets how to count to 11?

Nin, ten, "....I'll leave now.

Why do the Japanese have squinty eyes?

Becuase atomic bombs are bright.

What did the Japanese chef say when his mother died?

Well, that's the edamame.

What does an excited Japanese horse say?

Oshio des neighhhhh

What do you call a Japanese pirate?

J-Peg.

Why does Jesus like Japanese food?

Because he loves miso

Where do the Japanese store defective mannequin feet?

In bent-toe boxes.

What did the salmon say to his shy Japanese girlfriend?

Don't be koi.

What did one Japanese man say to the other?

I'm not quite sure. I only took one year of Japanese in high school.

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How many tickles does it take to make a Japanese girl laugh?

Ten Tickles

What does a Japanese chef shout in bed?

Ooo mami! (Umami)

What the Japanese version of mission impossible?

Miso impossible

Why do Japanese people have slanty eyes?

Atomic bombs are realllllly bright.

How do Japanese people refer to American politicians?

Parti-san

What kind of car does a Japanese chef drive?

Rolls Rice

What do you call a Japanese Halloween Cake?

Bookkake

Why did the Japanese funeral home have to turn away new business?

They ran out of san storage

What's Beethoven's favorite favorite Japanese weapon?

Ka-ta-na-na!

What sport do Japanese people watch?

Desuball

What type of pants do Japanese people wear?

Nihon-jeans (Nihon-jin)

Which US state is friendliest toward the Japanese?

Ohio

What sound does a Japanese camera make?

Crick

How do you know Jesus loves Japanese food?

Because he said he loves miso.

What is Snoopy's favorite Japanese dish?

Snushi.

What does a Japanese man do when there's an erection?

He votes!

Who is Ed McMahon's favorite Japanese Filmmaker?

Hiyooooo Miyazaki.

Who's the founder of the Japanese Wikipedia?

Yojimbo Wales! (Joke stolen from co-worker)

What do you call a group of Japanese people running up a hill?

Tsunami Warning

What do a coffee shop and a Japanese castle siege have in common?

Baristas

What did the Japanese General say to his kamikaze trainee?

Despite what everyone tells you, you'll never learn from your mistakes.

What did the Japanese man say when he jumped out of Office Depot?

SUPPLIES!!!

What do you call a group of people addicted to Japanese drugs?

We abuse

What does a Japanese guy name his pet lion?

Ryan

What do you call the Japanese police force?

Kawaii Five-0

What did The Hobbit say to the Japanese man as he was leaving?

Shirenara!

Why aren't Japanese optimistic?

Because not every cloud has a silver lining

What do you call a Pho restaurant run by 9 Japanese chefs?

Pho Kyuu EDIT: No one understands how to pronounce "Pho".;;

What's a Japanese person's hangover cure?

Soba Noodles

What do you call a fashionable Japanese warrior?

Glamurai

What if Lady Gaga was half Irish, half Japanese?

Rady O'Gaga

What did the Japanese stoner say?

Toke yo

What do you call someone obsessed with Japanese food?

A weeafood

What food do Japanese people serve as an apology when they have offended someone?

Miso sorry...

How do you say 'Toilet' in Japanese?

Dump-ring.

What does a Japanese girl ride?

Niisan.

When do spare parts from Japanese cars start falling out of the sky?

When it's raining Datsun cogs.

What Job will Mr Miyagi take on when he retires from Martial Arts?

Plastic Surgeon. Japanese accent "Rax on, Rax off"

What do you get when you combine two Japanese demons?

A two-eyed onion.

Why are Japanese people all skinny?

Because of their national diet.

What did the Japanese chef do after he dishonored the emperor?

Commit sushi

Which US state is the friendliest towards the Japanese?

Ohio

What piece of clothing is made overseas in an Asia country?

Japanese

Why do Japanese people squint?

Nuclear explosions are bright

Why did your sister refuse the gift of a Japanese car?

Because she'd never be able to learn the language

What do all Japanese Airmen wear eye patches?

Because they're pirots!

What are the loud, metal things that the Japanese hit?

American ships.

What do you call an alcohol free Japanese city?

Nadasaki

What did the Japanese buck say to the doe he was courting?

I don't know how to put this but...I'm kind of a big deer.

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What does a Japanese girl ride?

Niisan.

What is the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You have to drop the bomb twice.

Konichihuahua Jokes More Konichihuahua Jokes

How do Japanese Chihuahuas say 'Hello'?

Konichihuahua

How does a Japanese chihuahua say hello?

Konichihuahua

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

What does Snoop Lion do when he forgets to wear oven mitts?

Drops it like it's hot.

What did the oyster say to the fish who stole it's shell?

Stop being shellfish!" *drops microphone, walks away*

Extraterrestrial Jokes More Extraterrestrial Jokes

What do you call an Extraterrestrial from Melbourne?

An Australien.

Japanese Woman Jokes More Japanese Woman Jokes

Study Jokes More Study Jokes

What do you call an expert that studies sign language?

A signtist!

What does a confused student at Hogwarts study?

Which craft

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why does a pencil shave?

To look sharp

What did A and B look for at the beach?

A "C" gull!

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

What do you get if you cross a labrador and a tortoise?

A dog that will run to the shop to get your paper and bring back last weeks paper!

What is your least favorite force of nature?

Gravity. It's always bringing me down.