Cougar Jokes

What do you call a Japanese Cougar with exceptional taste?

Umami

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How does a cougar obtain the perfect tan?

She uses a perfect son.

What do you call a cat that claims it's a lion crossed with a cougar?

A liar.

What did the Pope say when a cougar crossed his path?

Oh my gosh I almost Puma pants.

What do John Mellencamp and Ashton Kutcher have in common?

They both picked up a Cougar and then thought better of it.

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Vacation Jokes More Vacation Jokes

Where does a burger go on vacation?

The Swiss (cheese) Alps or The Cheeseapeake Valley!

How was the beach?

You hang ten or what " No but I stabbed a couple because they kept asking stupid questions about my vacation

Umami Jokes More Umami Jokes

What is Oedipus' favorite flavor?

Umami.

What does a Japanese chef shout in bed?

Ooo mami! (Umami)

Cantaloupe Jokes More Cantaloupe Jokes

What do you call a cantaloupe who can't elope?

A cantaloupe. The spelling is completely different...

What did the overbearing mother melon say to her son and his girlfriend?

You Cantaloupe.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot?

A. The thought had never entered his head before.

What makes you think you can criticise American gun laws, sitting over there in the UK?

I was asked on an internet forum. "Because you're not allowed to take them on planes," I answered.

Cheetah Jokes More Cheetah Jokes

Why did the lion lose at poker?

He was playing with a cheetah.

When the animal kingdom had a poker party who didn't they invite?

The Cheetahs!

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why did the moron think his girlfriend was into metal?

He found steel wool pads in her bathroom.

Why do vultures find it easy to fly?

They only ever have carrion baggage.

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

How many pick-up artists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Zero. They just keep praising and negging it, and then get upset when it doesn't screw.

Why are there separate book donation boxes for Nigeria, Ghana, AND Zambia outside the bookstore?

Am I supposed to pick my favorite

Pope Jokes More Pope Jokes

Who is the supreme religious leader of the corns?

Pope corn!

How do you castrate the pope?

Kick the altar boy in the chin.