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How does a cougar obtain the perfect tan?

She uses a perfect son.

Love

Love

Why did the nurse always insist on using the rectal thermometer to obtain temperatures?

Because nurses are taught in nursing school to always look for her patient's best side.

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What did one stoplight say to the other stoplight?

Don't look! I'm changing!

Why did the storm trooper return his iPhone?

Because it wasn't the droid he was looking for!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Which hotel does Link use when he goes on vacation?

The HYAT

What kind of a battery does Dj Khaled use?

A Li-ion battery.

Nurse Jokes More Nurse Jokes

What did the emu say to the nurse?

Mend her bones or walk the plank

What do you call a nurse with flat knees?

The "head" nurse.

Insist Jokes More Insist Jokes

Why do tailors hate statisticians?

They insist that the fit could be better.

When do men insist that women are illogical?

When a woman doesn't agree with them.

Rectal Thermometer Jokes More Rectal Thermometer Jokes

What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

What's the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer?

The taste!

Teach Jokes More Teach Jokes

What is the first thing they teach you at Gardening school?

WATERRR THOOOOOSSSSSEEEEE!!!!

How many beers did you have while I was gone?

Me: Two. 4-year-old: It was nine. Teaching her to count was a mistake.

Cougar Jokes More Cougar Jokes

What do you call a cat that claims it's a lion crossed with a cougar?

A liar.

What do you call a Japanese Cougar with exceptional taste?

Umami

Temperature Jokes More Temperature Jokes

Why did the nurse always insist on using the rectal thermometer to obtain temperatures?

Because nurses are taught in nursing school to always look for her patient's best side.

What is the temperature of the average coffin?

6 Below