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Insist Jokes

Why do tailors hate statisticians?

They insist that the fit could be better.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes
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Why did the melon insist on having a big wedding?

Because it cantaloupe.

Why did Eminem make a terrible barista?

Because he kept insisting everyone only get one shot.

Why do melons insist on having big weddings?

Because they just cantaloupe.

Why did the nurse always insist on using the rectal thermometer to obtain temperatures?

Because nurses are taught in nursing school to always look for her patient's best side.

How do you know your S&amp?

M partner works in IT? They insist your safe word has an upper case letter, a lower case letter, and at least one number.

When do men insist that women are illogical?

When a woman doesn't agree with them.

How many bassoonists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one but they'll insist on going through about 5 bulbs before they find one that suits this particular room and situation.

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Statistician Jokes More Statistician Jokes

What do you call it when a statistician secretly gives out clothes?

Discreet uniform distribution

Who's to say tomorrow won't be the best day of your life?

A statistician.

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

Why did the Irishman wear two condoms?

To be sure to be sure

How do we know God likes condoms?

Because Adam was ribbed for Eve's pleasure

Temperature Jokes More Temperature Jokes

Why do I have a temperature of 101.3?

Me: Maybe you're pregnant Wife: What's wrong with you *damn you webMD, damn you.

What's the difference between Mormons and non Mormons?

The temperature of their caffeine

War Jokes More War Jokes

Why are firetrucks red?

You see, firetrucks have 4 wheels, can carry 8 men and 4+ 8 = 12. There are 12 inches in a ruler and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. There was once a ship named Elizabeth that sailed the seas. Fish live in the seas and fish have fins. People from Finland are called Fins. Finland and Russia had a war a long time ago. Russia has red on its flag and that's why they're red. Cause they're always Russian around.

What is cookie monsters favorite war?

Vietnom nom nom nom

Low Case Letter Jokes More Low Case Letter Jokes

How do you know your S&amp?

M partner works in IT? They insist your safe word has an upper case letter, a lower case letter, and at least one number.

Why did the USSR have so many lower case letters?

Because they aren't capitalist

S&Amp Jokes More S&Amp Jokes

What do you say if you meet someone from Anonymous in an S&amp?

M club? "Troll in the dungeon!"

How do you know your S&amp?

M partner works in IT? They insist your safe word has an upper case letter, a lower case letter, and at least one number.

Upper Case Letter Jokes More Upper Case Letter Jokes

How do you know your S&amp?

M partner works in IT? They insist your safe word has an upper case letter, a lower case letter, and at least one number.

Why do the cops monitor the store that sells upper-case letters for computers?

It's a shifty business.

Rectal Thermometer Jokes More Rectal Thermometer Jokes

What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste

What is the difference between a rectal thermometer and a regular thermometer?

The taste.