Eminem Jokes

Who do you call if Everlast is having a heart attack?

Eminem.

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Why was dyslexic Eminem put in a cage?

He was startin' to feel like a rap dog, rap dog.

What is Eminem's favourite food?

Wraps

Why did Taco Bell hire Eminem?

Because he's a Wrap God

What kind of dinosaur would Eminem be?

A veloci-rapper. What about Stalin? A Tyrant-a-saurus rex.

Why did Eminem make a terrible barista?

Because he kept insisting everyone only get one shot.

When does Eminem leave school?

Aftermath

What happens to Eminem when he dies?

I accidentally this joke the other day. Do you think it has potential?

What did Eminem say when his label spelled his name wrong?

It doesn't Mather.

What is Eminem made of?

He is made of Mathers

What does Eminem and a Tumblr SJW have in common?

See they can trigger me, but they'll never figure me out

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What's a rapper's favorite candy?

Eminems.

Why are most rappers afraid of vending machines?

Because Eminem's in there (Sorry, it works better when it's spoken)

What did Eminem learn to defend himself?

Marshall arts.

What part of the body did the chiropractor fix when Eminem came in?

Shady's back*

What are 5 "Ms" from Detroit?

GM, Eminem and Michael Moore.

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Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of Dog does Homer Simpson have?

A DOH-berman!

What kind of medicine do bears take?

Bayer Asprin

Dinosaur Jokes More Dinosaur Jokes

What do you call a dinosaur with good dental hygiene?

A flossiraptor

Why do dinosaurs climb trees?

There's nothing else to climb in the jungle.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What's the sharpest thing in the word?

A fart. It goes right through your pants and doesn't leave a hole.

How do crabs leave the hospital?

On crotches...

Defend Jokes More Defend Jokes

How on earth can you defend a man like Adam Johnson?

It's easy, he's all left foot - just constantly show him down the right side and don't let him cut in.

How many men do you need to defend Paris?

I have no idea. Nobody ever tried.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What did the knife say to the pretty lady?

Nothing, she knew what was coming...

Why did the Snowman pull his pants down?

Because the snowblower was coming.

Potential Jokes More Potential Jokes

What did the physicist say to the man about to jump off a building?

Don't do it! You have so much potential!

What did the physicist say to the suicidal guy on the bridge?

Don't do it! You have potential!

School Jokes More School Jokes

What do you call a Tardy count for a school of water bears?

A tardigrade!

What do elves learn in school?

The elf-abet.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to the performer who read poetry to terminally ill patients?

He suffered an elegiac reaction.

What's the worst thing when being told you have Alzheimer's?

It doesn't just happen the once.