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Eminem Jokes

Who do you call if Everlast is having a heart attack?

Eminem.

We've Got This Love Thing Down

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We've Got This Love Thing Down

Why was dyslexic Eminem put in a cage?

He was startin' to feel like a rap dog, rap dog.

What is Eminem's favourite food?

Wraps

Why did Taco Bell hire Eminem?

Because he's a Wrap God

What kind of dinosaur would Eminem be?

A veloci-rapper. What about Stalin? A Tyrant-a-saurus rex.

Why did Eminem make a terrible barista?

Because he kept insisting everyone only get one shot.

When does Eminem leave school?

Aftermath

What happens to Eminem when he dies?

I accidentally this joke the other day. Do you think it has potential?

What did Eminem say when his label spelled his name wrong?

It doesn't Mather.

What is Eminem made of?

He is made of Mathers

What does Eminem and a Tumblr SJW have in common?

See they can trigger me, but they'll never figure me out

Birthday State of Mind

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Birthday State of Mind

What's a rapper's favorite candy?

Eminems.

Why are most rappers afraid of vending machines?

Because Eminem's in there (Sorry, it works better when it's spoken)

What did Eminem learn to defend himself?

Marshall arts.

What part of the body did the chiropractor fix when Eminem came in?

Shady's back*

What are 5 "Ms" from Detroit?

GM, Eminem and Michael Moore.

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Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How do you feel if you cross a sheepdog with a melon?

Melon-collie!

Why did the miner feel so low?

He was in a deep depression.

Learn Jokes More Learn Jokes

Which joke has the maximum HOT Nuns in it?

You don't know none.. And here to learn one.. So when you are with your friends.. Or walking with your son.. Tell them reddit jokes.. thinking now they would listen... (to you) play it cool, play it slow.. No need to blow.. Take this further, take this far.. till sang by a star. (Improvise it as you like, don't care about the grammar. No rapper does.)

What is the difference between a baby and a feminist?

The baby grows up and learns to stop crying.

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why won't Microsoft hire any maids?

Because they don't do Windows

Why should I hire you?

Because I have pictures of you with a goat

Vend Jokes More Vend Jokes

Why did the soda can quit its job at the vending machine?

It was soda pressing.

What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?

I want my quarter back!

Machine Jokes More Machine Jokes

How to pick up chicks at the gym Pasted from Facebook: A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?

Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They have a machine that does that now.

Fail Jokes More Fail Jokes

Why did the Buddhist photographer fail at taking pictures?

Bad cam'ra

Why did the Muslim fail his Chemistry Exam?

Because to him, alcohol is not a solution.

Stalin Jokes More Stalin Jokes

Why did the Cold War never happen?

Because Joseph was Stalin.

What was Stalin's favorite chemical equation?

HAmAr + SiCl

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What did the Invisible Man's mom say after he came out as invisible?

I can't even look at you anymore!

Why is a toothbrush a "tooth" brush?

Cause it was invented in Alabama! Inspiration came from the comments(http://mobile.reuters.com/article/idUSKBN0GP1NS20140825 irpc=932)