If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.
Because he figured that would be a bad hobbit to get in to.
Never mind, I figured it out.
The leaf, the Emo is too depressed to go outside. I saw this joke reposted so many times. I figured I'd mix it up a bit.
Spent too much time figuring out the Engels, so he didnt get the Marx.... thats what he gets for Stalin
He gets stumped.
They figured three squares was enough for the sewers to handle.
Figuring out what to tell you about first.
She kept wetting the bed.
He used cowculus!
Dust for Fresh Prints! (i this version better than any snowstorm b.s.)
A Game of Crohn's.
Because they're trying to figure out who's the betta fish
Omelette you figure it out
I just asked him to edit my essay and he said I have semi colon problems. He must be a smart guy if he can figure that out from my writing.
Oh well, I'll figure it out later.
Causal fridays.
With your figure of speech
Ben/Anna!
A toy builder.
See they can trigger me, but they'll never figure me out
We can figure out what's going on live, but can't while watching it on tv
I can tell after like 2 questions if its a wolf or my nana
You can't figure it out I mean, it's a pizz'a cake.
They still haven't figured out how to screw in the lightbulb
She couldn't figure out who the other mother was.
Seven. One to install the bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years
They couldn't figure out Who was on first (Sorry, if this has been submitted before, im new here)
Not sure, first they have to figure out which way to spin it.
A zip.
Spits*
2: Not much, Brian. I had a pint yesterday. 1: Oh! Really I thought you were only 15 2: I am! 1: So what was it Guiness 2: No, it was water.
Get off my nuts!" (ps. I made this joke up yesterday... i am having hernia surgery tomorrow, and i lol'd so hard at myself that i about caused a second one to pop out)
An ATM machine
Because it was drunk.
The Newport (My first joke, sorry if bad 8)
Lesbians
With the stock market you can only lose when you pull out.
Because everyone would get the same Marx.
Full Marx
I'll Tell You How I'm Doing Volumes: 1-8
Teach me senpai!
When he found out, Santa shouldn't have gotten mad, he only had his elf to blame. Now Santa won't forgive him until elf freezes over.
His boss always took him for granite.
