What's the hardest thing about being a vegan crossfitter who went to Harvard?

Figuring out what to tell you about first.

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How do you find a vegan at your dinner party?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Which burgers can tell your fortune?

Medium burgers!

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What falls faster from a tree, a leaf or an Emo?

The leaf, the Emo is too depressed to go outside. I saw this joke reposted so many times. I figured I'd mix it up a bit.

Why do physicists have such a hard time figuring out why their experiments fail Monday through Thursday?

Causal fridays.

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How do you get a Harvard Graduate off your porch?

You pay him for the pizza.

What's the hardest thing about being a vegan crossfitter who went to Harvard?

Figuring out what to tell you about first.

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What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle?

The road.

What's the hardest thing about having a colostomy bag?

Finding shoes to go with it.