Being 5 foot 6
He does crossfit.
Crossfit
Crossfit.
Don't worry, they'll tell you.
They are probably in better shape than you.
Deciding which to tell people first.
A torn ACL
CrossFit
Because the tomato sauce couldn't Ketchup.
Tsar Napoleon.
I'm Crossed.
XP Edit: Explanation(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ChiRho)
They never stop lighting up.
They hate plaque buildup.
There's no jack
Only one but they'll insist on going through about 5 bulbs before they find one that suits this particular room and situation.
Weights
The mall is hiring new Santas.
Because he didn't want his daughters to be called Ms. Steaks.
An ambulance because that is a serious medical emergency that requires immediate attention.
Abominable.
The laundromat.
Can't anchor us" /bow.. this is as clever as i get, people.. so sorry.