How did the farmer figure out how much milk he had?

He used cowculus!

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What happens when the president of the United States has to use the bathroom?

The state of alert in the White House rises to Defecate 2.

What version of windows does Jesus use?

XP Edit: Explanation(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ChiRho)

Farmer Jokes More Farmer Jokes

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?

Hog and kisses!

What do you call a farmer who is really good at his job?

A man who is outstanding in his field.

Milk Jokes More Milk Jokes

What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus?

A cow that can milk itself!

What do you think I should buy, a cow or a bike?

You'd look pretty funny riding a cow...but you'd look much worst milking a bike

Figure Jokes More Figure Jokes

How do you figure out how sensitive a man's balls are?

Test tickles

Why didn't Spock do a mind meld with Frodo?

Because he figured that would be a bad hobbit to get in to.