Rectal Thermometer Jokes

How can you tell the difference between a thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

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What's a difference between a oral and a rectal thermometer?

The taste

What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste

What's the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer?

The taste!

What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

What is the difference between a rectal thermometer and a regular thermometer?

The taste.

Why does the Philippines ban rectal thermometers?

They cause too much brain damage.

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What's the difference between oral and rectal thermometers?

The taste.

What's the biggest difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?

The taste.

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What is a Farmer's favorite pick-up line?

Girl. You look so good that I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of y'all!

How do people look at the internet?

Me: How Him: With their google-y eyes

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What's the biggest difference between a crayon and your ex?

The crayon is non-toxic!

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Santa stops at three Ho's

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How can you tell if a Redditor is an extrovert?

During any conversation he's looking at YOUR shoes.

Why did the man tell his mom to get him out of prison?

She had gotten him out of a tight spot before.

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What do you call a nurse with dirty knees?

The Head Nurse.

What do you call 5 doctors and nurses on a ship?

A decade Ba dum tish.

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Why did the nurse always insist on using the rectal thermometer to obtain temperatures?

Because nurses are taught in nursing school to always look for her patient's best side.

How does a cougar obtain the perfect tan?

She uses a perfect son.

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Whats the difference between a rectal and an oral thermometer?

The taste.

What's the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer?

The taste!

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What did the thermometer say to the other thermometer?

You make my temperature rise.

How are you feeling?

The thermometer responded, "0K."