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Whats the difference between cats and dogs?

Dogs have owners, cats have staff.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a Southern Zoo and a Northern Zoo?

A Southern Zoo has a description of the animal on the cage along with a recipe.

What's the difference between a vampire with toothache and a rainstorm?

One roars with pain and the other pours with rain.

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

How do you find your dog if he's lost in the woods?

Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark!

What is the burning question on the mind of every dyslexic existentialist?

Is there a dog?

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats the problem with tainted money?

It taint yours and it taint mine :D (Puns for the win :D)

Whats the saddest thing about global warming/iceberg melting?

Polar bears won't be able to keep their cokes cold.

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What's a cats most common written thought?

Mmmnhhhhgcdddxxdtyyhhbvbbb

Who is the favourite communist leader of all the cats?

Mao

Owner Jokes More Owner Jokes

What pets think about their owners?

A dog: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... He is God. A cat: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... I am God.

Why did the alarm go off at the mansion?

Because the owner entered the correct code.

Staff Jokes More Staff Jokes

What do you call a bakery staffed entirely by men?

A pastryarchy.

What university has the most brightest students and staff?

University of Brighton