Why do the undead read cringe stories?

Because they're already... DEAD INSIDE.

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Why are so many Italians named Tony?

Because when they immigrated from Italy, customs stuck a label on their lapel reading ToN.Y.

How did the Reddit user read his newspaper?

LtORIGINAL&gt He Reddit

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Why are the undead so angry all the time?

They have mummy issues.

What Social Media site do the undead use?

Tomblr.