Why do the undead read cringe stories?

Because they're already... DEAD INSIDE.

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What did the man say when he couldn't get the gun to fire?

Looks like I'm gonna have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual.

Why was Joe disappointed when he read the newspaper in Washington?

There were no jokes in the Post.

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Why do the undead read cringe stories?

Because they're already... DEAD INSIDE.

Why are the undead so angry all the time?

They have mummy issues.