Read Jokes

When do e-mails stop being in black and white?

When they are read.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Why did reddit's admins go back to school?

Because they can't spell "read it".

How many Carpathians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, Vigo and see. (best read in Yanosh's voice)

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity...

It's impossible to put down

What's black and white and read all over?

The newspaper.

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Midget Fortune Teller Jokes More Midget Fortune Teller Jokes

What do you call a midget fortune teller that just escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

What do you call a midget fortune teller, who is wanted by the law?

A Small Medium at Large

Sean Connery Jokes More Sean Connery Jokes

What did Sean Connery say to a couple of lobsters he saw take up an extra parking space?

You're two shellfish.

What does a lonely Sean Connery building IKEA products say?

I guess its jusht me, myshelf, and I tonight.

Queen Jokes More Queen Jokes

What kind of umbrella does the Queen of England carry on a rainy day?

A wet one.

Why would the Queen let Netflix use her likeness in "The Crown"?

She probably gets royalties

Headline Jokes More Headline Jokes

What were the headlines like when the shovel was invented?

There's been a ground breaking discovery...

50 Shade Jokes More 50 Shade Jokes

Escape Jokes More Escape Jokes

How did the Nucleus escape from prison?

Through the cell wall.

How did 1337 Jesus escape his tomb?

X-Post from ProgrammerHumor) He used an encrypted key.

Gospel Jokes More Gospel Jokes

Which gospel contains Jesus' parable about the shades of numbers?

Math hue.

How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your Bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

Ray Charles Jokes More Ray Charles Jokes

Why couldn't Ray Charles see his friends?

Because he was married

Why can't Ray Charles see his friends?

Because he's married.