What do New York McDonald's employees and people who read Ulysses have in common?

Liberal Arts Degrees.

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How many people does it take to screw in a light?

Two, but I don't know how they'll fit inside the bulb

Why won't Hillary ever pull out?

She's never finished screwing people.

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What 2 books do white American boys enjoy reading on their way to school?

The Catcher in the Rye and Cooking For Dummies.

Why do old people read the bible so much?

I asked my grandad the other day "why do old people read the bible so much?" He replied "cause we're cramming for finals"