What do New York McDonald's employees and people who read Ulysses have in common?

Liberal Arts Degrees.

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What's the hardest part about being a Vegan who does Crossfit and owns a Rescue dog?

Deciding which to tell people first.

What do you call a group of people in charge of renewable energy for a town?

A solar panel.

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I'm reading a book about anti-gravity...

It's impossible to put down

Why could the drunk man only move left?

The officer hadn't read him his rights.