What is Juan's favorite book to read?

Tequila Mockingbird

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How many Carpathians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, Vigo and see. (best read in Yanosh's voice)

What do you call a deaf person who can't lip read?

Anything you want!

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What is a Juanito?

A little Juan

What do you call a Mexican Standoff between two people?

Juan vs. Juan

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What is the official novel of Mexico?

Tequila Mockingbird

What do you call a bird that drunkenly conveys a compelling perspective on racial hatred?

Tequila Mockingbird.