Juan Jokes

How do they count the Mexican immigrants?

They start with Juan

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Why does Juan walk around the school like he owns the place?

Because his dad built it and his mom cleans it

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?

Juan on Juan.

Why did the Mexican civil war last so long?

Because they were fighting Juan on Juan.

How many Mexicans are needed to change a light bulb?

Juan.

What does he say at baptism?

Another Juan

What is a Juanito?

A little Juan

How do you get a Mexican across the border using only math?

Carry the Juan

How Do Mexicans Play Basketball?

Juan on Juan.

Whats a Mexicans favorite type basketball?

Juan on Juan

What do Mexican and Black people have in common?

Once you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal.

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What do you call a Mexican Standoff between two people?

Juan vs. Juan

What is a Mexican's favorite Queen song?

I Juan to break free

What do Mexican jokes have in common with black jokes?

Once you know Juan, you know Jamal

How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?

Juans upon a time.

What do you call a Mexican ready-meal?

Dinner for Juan

What do you call a Mexican cutting a Mobius Strip??

Juan.

What's the motto of the Mexican army?

An Army of Juan

What did one Mexican say to the other Mexican?

It's four-twenty Juan!

What does a Mexican Morpheus say?

Neo, you are the Juan... I'll show myself the door...

What does a Mexican magician use?

A magic Juan

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What's the same about Mexican and Black people?

Once you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal. (Sorry if you're offended, I love all races.)

How many Mexicans does it take to fix a light bulb?

Twenty-Juan

What does Mexican binary code consist of?

Zeros and Juans.

What's the worst thing about Mexican and Black jokes?

Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.

How many Kings of Spain abdicated last week?

Just Juan

What does a Mexican Highlander say?

THERE CAN BE ONLY JUAN!

Why do they say all minorities look the same?

Because once you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamaul.

How does a Mexican build a house?

Juan nail at a time.

What Daft Punk song is a hit amongst the Hispanic community?

Juan more time!

Why did the Dalai Lama go to Mexico?

So he can be juan with everything.

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How many Spanish people does it take to change a light bulb?

Just Juan.

What does DJ Khaled call his Mexican friends?

Another Juan

What did the Mexican girl say to her fiance?

You're the Juan!

What do you call a fight in Mexico?

A Juan on Juan.

How many of our friends do you see?

Just Juan.

What did the American Army General say after the first opposing casualty in the Mexican-American War?

Juan down, a million more to go.

How do you split $6 between 5 Mexicans?

You cut *Juan* out.

How many Mexicans do you need to change a Lightbulb?

Juan.

What did the wife say as she left her Mexican husband?

I'm sorry but I love another Juan.

What is Juan's favorite book to read?

Tequila Mockingbird

How do Mexicans line up?

Juan by Juan

What what Juan's twin sister named?

I don't know, Juana guess

What makes Mexican and black jokes so similar?

Once you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal.

What game console do Latinos use most?

XBOX JUAN

Why was Juan late to the Mexican food party?

Because he had to pick up the Pace! (Pace salsa)

What do u call a Mexican who survives a shootout and lives to tell the tale?

The Juan who lived.

What does DJ Kahled say when he wants another taco?

Another, Juan

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Why doesn't Mexico ever do well in the Olympics?

Because every Mexican that can run, jump, or swim is already in America.

How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?

Fleece Navidad!

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What's long and white?

The line to Starbucks.

What's white and in the men's 100M final?

The lines.

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What does a Gorilla learn first in school?

The Apey-cees!

How do computers measure pain?

Gigahurts. (Came up with this in the car on my way to school hopefully its original)

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Who do zombie cowboys fight?

Deadskins.

What do you call two pencils fighting?

A grafight.

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Why do people from Istanbul always swim?

Because they're constant in a pool.

What do you call someone who walks into a building full of people?

A cannibal.

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What kind of snake is good at building things?

A boa constructor.

What's the highest story of any building?

Floor 20

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What is Sean Connery's favorite sport, and around what age did he start playing?

Tennish

Why did the pig go in the kitchen?

To start some bacon