What kind of poker do stoner cows play?

High Steaks

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What do you get when you play country music backwards?

You get your job back, you get your wife back and you get your tractor back.

What's the difference between Ozzy Osborne and Whitney Houston?

One plays hard rock, the other is rock hard.

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Why don't they play poker in Africa?

Because there's cheetahs.

What do you call a veterinarian who's real good at poker?

First post) Ace of spays

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What kind of car trouble?

Me: "It doesn't go 200 miles an hour to compensate for my late start."

What kind of beer does a cow brew?

Heifer-weizen.