Why do people love their smartphones so much?

Because opposites attract. (Told to me by 2 students today, loved it!)

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

Why was the pencil in the toilet?

It was a No. 2.

Why were episodes 4, 5, 6 made before 1, 2, 3?

Because in charge Yoda was.

Opposite Jokes More Opposite Jokes

What's the opposite of ennui?

Off-ui. from *Gilmore Girls*.

What is the opposite of a cold front?

A warm back

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why do they build fences around graveyards?

Because people are dying to get in

What did one ghost say to the other?

Do you believe in people

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?

They'll tell you

How can you tell a vampire has a cold?

They start coffin.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What's the same about Mexican and Black people?

Once you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal. (Sorry if you're offended, I love all races.)

What did the Melon King say to the two young melons in love?

They can't-elope.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Where does He-Man keep his towel?

BY THE SHOWER OF GREYSKULL!!! I wrote this joke today. Feel free to steal it.

What did the dog say after a hard day at work?

Today sure was ruff" Read that today on my university's art wall and made me smile a bit, thought i'd share it

Attract Jokes More Attract Jokes

Why are all the ladies attracted to Voldemort?

Because of his hex appeal.

What attracted you to our company?

Well, I heard you pay money in exchange for work

Smartphone Jokes More Smartphone Jokes

How many Chinese workers does it take to make a Smartphone?

I dunno. Ask the kids.

How do you tell if somebody doesn't have a smartphone?

Just wait, they'll tell you.