Finally realized why my plant sits around doing nothing all day...

He loves his pot.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How long have we had that pillow?

Wife: No idea Memory foam pillow: Two years, five months and two days

What did John Wilkes Boothe's stage partner wish him on the day of that tragic night?

Break a leg. So he jumped off the balcony... Sorry that I am not funny.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why do geologists love sandwiches in the field?

Because they can get their whole grains.

What did the ireshmen say to the beer?

I love you.....

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What do you get when you cross a pig with a canary?

I don't know but when it sits on your electric wire and sings all your lights go out

What sits in the corner of the room, crying and getting smaller and smaller?

A baby combing it's hair with a vegetable peeler.

Pot Jokes More Pot Jokes

Where do pots go on vacation?

JaPAN! From my 9 year old.

What happens when you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia?

You get stoned.

Plant Jokes More Plant Jokes

Why does the farmer hate his job?

Because he has a deep-seeded hatred for planting.

What do you call a stingy douchebag who likes plants?

A prick

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

Why was Amazon angry after their conference with Samsung?

After taking Notes, they realized their was no way they could sell the Fire.

How's your love life?

Well, I went on a date. 45 minutes in I realized it was a turtle in a wig. "I'm sorry man" it's ok. still got laid.