Finally realized why my plant sits around doing nothing all day...

He loves his pot.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How did Pinocchio figure out he was made of wood?

He was jacking off one day and his hand caught on fire.

What do you call the day after a sad Friday?

A sadder day.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why should you send your sweetie a valentine?

Because you always heart the one you love.

What country do cows love to visit?

Moo Zealand!

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What do you call it when the Russian president sits on a box of crackers?

Putin on the Ritz

What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench?

The NBA

Pot Jokes More Pot Jokes

Where do pots go on vacation?

JaPAN! From my 9 year old.

What's the difference between America and a pot of yogurt?

If you leave a pot of yogurt alone for 200 years it develops a culture.

Plant Jokes More Plant Jokes

Why are flowering plants such good test takers?

Because they have all of the anthers!

How are college students like plants?

They both need natural light to survive!

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

Which beer did the flower drink that made it realize that it was smarter when it was young?

Budweiser

How many leftists does it take to change a lightbulb?

8,000 to protest against the broken lightbulb but 0 to realize it won't change anything.