What would you like today?

Me: Make me look attractive. Barber: CAROL! CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS!

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why was Jesus not Mexican?

No matter how hard God looked, he could not find three wise men or a virgin anywhere in Mexico

How did you find the steak, sir?

The man looks at her and says "I just moved the potatoes."

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why did the geologist's wife leave him?

He was getting physical (first joke hope you like it)

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How did you prepare for today?

Red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

Why is everyone smiling at me today?

Checks fly* *no pants* Aaaah.

Cancel Jokes More Cancel Jokes

Why can't random men check random women's breasts for cancel?

Because that sort of information is on a knead to know basis.

What would you like today?

Me: Make me look attractive. Barber: CAROL! CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS!

Barber Jokes More Barber Jokes

What did the customer say to the barber after looking at a facial hair catalog?

I moustache you a question about this style shown here, good sir.

What do Russians call their barbers?

Combrade

Carol Jokes More Carol Jokes

What do crack addicts sing while caroling?

All I Want for Christmas is my two front teeth!

What would you like today?

Me: Make me look attractive. Barber: CAROL! CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS!