What would you like today?

Me: Make me look attractive. Barber: CAROL! CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS!

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why did Scotty check all the toilets of the Starship Enterprise?

He was looking for the Captain's log.

What Did One Eye Say To Another Eye?

Don't Look Now But Something Between Us Smells

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What did the Canadian eel say when the bartender asked him if he'd had enough?

No, I think I'd like some more-ay.

What are the blonde's first words after 4 years of college?

"Would you like fries with that "

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Why did the sperm cross the road..?

I accidentally put on the wrong sock today....

Whats the V in DVD stand for?

Cuz if it were lying down it wouldnt make any sense. (first post to reddit, made up this joke today.. be kind)

Cancel Jokes More Cancel Jokes

What's being in love feel like?

You know when someone cancels plans you wanted to cancel anyway Almost as good as that.

Why is it "canceled" in America, but "cancelled" in England?

Because we gave them that L in 1776.

Barber Jokes More Barber Jokes

Who can shave 25 times in one day, and still have a beard?

A barber!

Who can shave 25 times a day and still have a beard?

A barber.

Carol Jokes More Carol Jokes

What would you like today?

Me: Make me look attractive. Barber: CAROL! CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS!