March Madness Sale - 25% Off

What would you like today?

Me: Make me look attractive. Barber: CAROL! CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS!

Previous Random Joke Next
Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How awful do I look?

Him: You always look beautiful. Me: Do I need to put makeup on Him: Maybe just a... *stare* Him: No.

Why are you being so salty?

Her response - with a flat, even look: "I've been well seasoned." I lost it

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What is a Mature man who likes young women?

An Inmate

Why did Ally refuse to do her homework, when all she had left was to square the x and y axis?

Cause Allies don't like axis powers

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What do we say to the god of procrastination?

Not today.

What do you call the family members of the Force?

Force-kin My friend made this up today while talking about Star Wars.

Cancel Jokes More Cancel Jokes

Why is it "canceled" in America, but "cancelled" in England?

Because we gave them that L in 1776.

Why was the feminist picnic cancelled?

Because nobody made sandwiches

Barber Jokes More Barber Jokes

Why does a barber never shave a man with a wooden leg?

Because he always uses a razor.

Why did a gun go to the barber?

Because it's bangs were getting long!

Carol Jokes More Carol Jokes

What do crack addicts sing while caroling?

All I Want for Christmas is my two front teeth!

What would you like today?

Me: Make me look attractive. Barber: CAROL! CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS!