What would you like today?

Me: Make me look attractive. Barber: CAROL! CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS!

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What did the first stoplight say to the second stoplight?

Don't look I'm changing!!

Why were people angry wen the chiken crossed the rd?

Cus he looked one way, then another way after.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why did the dog chase the bulldozer?

It doesn't like Cats.

Who here likes Olympic Frisbees?

Discus.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What does a television have in common with a rabbit?

His ears! Yes, this is a real joke I got from a Laffy Taffy wrapper today, not 30 years ago. I did not laugh.

What do you call a shoe with no grip?

A slipper. (Made this up today, but almost definitely will have been made up before by someone else)

Cancel Jokes More Cancel Jokes

Why did the watermelon and the honeydew decide to cancel their spontaneous wedding in Las Vegas?

They realized with a family like theirs, they really Cantaloupe.

Why did you cancel your gym membership?

Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with

Barber Jokes More Barber Jokes

What hairstyle does Christopher Nolan get at the barber?

A director's cut

Why doesn't my hairline look good?

Barber: It's on the same old head.

Carol Jokes More Carol Jokes

What would you like today?

Me: Make me look attractive. Barber: CAROL! CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS!