What do you get when you have one pinion nut in one hand, and two pinion nuts in another?

A difference of a pinion!

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between necrophilia and a pizza?

Even if it is cold it's still good.

What's the difference between this morning and your wife?

I'm not coming in *this morning*

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What mistake did the chronometer make while it was getting along well with the digital watch?

It asked the digital watch for its hand in marriage.

Why fist fights break out at NASA?

Sometimes an argument of perihelion will get out of hand.