What is a centipedes's favorite Beatle song?

I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand...

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What's blue, standing in the kitchen?

STFU, I can paint my wife any colour I want!

Why are we at Home Depot?

Me: I wanted to see what it's like to pick out bathroom tile with you. See if this is worth it.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What do you get when Hulk holds the American Flag?

The Star Spangled Banner!

How many Russians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and other to drink until the room spins.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How do you make a snooker table laugh?

Put your hands in its pockets & tickle its balls.

What did Helen Keller do when she was drowning?

She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue.