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What did the one eyed thief, with a hook for a hand, call the elven princess?

Arrrrrrr-wen

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How are you feeling Grandpa?

Grandpa: Oh you know with my hands mostly.

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

Hook Jokes More Hook Jokes

Where did Capt. Hook buy his prosthesis?

A. At a secondhand store.

Why did the spelling bee champ have to go to rehab?

He was hooked on phonics.